i don't like this... Really, all i want is to write down my experience in this island (Rhodes), where i've spend the last five months of my life with out any relatives or friends, and how everything is going for me here. I want to record my worries, my dreams, and my feelings... I don't like it here. Not the way everything is seems to keep going. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with my mother, or thinking that at some point, i will get back leaving with her. I just don't think i said good bye to that life, the right way. I don't want a second chance for goodbyes. All I want is a chance to make it through my way. All on my own. I am 20 years old now, and no one is able to believe it. Everybody sees someone else but me. They see a girl older than me, a woman, they see someone who actually has lived it's own life much, even if the truth looks more like I have almost pulled together decades of life in just a couple of years. That is sad. Isn't it? I doubt about that. I feel free. Or not? Or should I get to learn how freedom feels like? Do I, or not, have any idea how rulling your own life feels like? But then again, rulling your own life means freedom? Well, there are a couple of things about it, that i am thrilled to figure out, and if you can say so, my life is heading to this exact thing. "To realise how to be free feels like." But is it freedom only a way of leaving - matter? Or is it more about the way of thinking? And if it is actually more about thinking, then i am almost sure, that all i am about to get from this trip are plenty of memories, different experiences, but then again, the same result. That "all in life is about the different perspectives". So I am about to take this step, and try to make things work on my own, and I will begin, even the smallest very first step of this way, with the most positive thinking, and I am willing to change all of my fears into confidence. And that, is just the begining.